After Alani's first month, life went on pretty good, as good as it can be living in Hawaii. One would think that everything was just grand living in paradise but it was pretty challenging. I survived okay and we had food and a place to live. But, something was missing from my life. I didn't know what it was but I wasn't finding "it" in Hawaii at that time. When my baby was 9 months old, I decided there wasn't anything keeping us in paradise and I decided we needed a change of scenery. So, we packed up and headed to Washington State. We didn't last there very long. I found work, day care and an apartment, but my boy started to get quite sickly. He developed croup and had several bouts of it. I was torn because I wanted to be with him, work wanted me to be at work AND babysitters didn't like tending a baby who appeared to have difficulty breathing. One day, a friend was over and he noted that Alani looked worse by the minute. So, we dashed him to the ER. They gave him breathing treatments and he responded well, but he would need them sooner and sooner each time. They felt Alani needed to be in the Oregon Health Sciences Hospital and we were transported there by ambulance. I thought for sure when Alani started dancing in my lap to the sirens they'd end up sending us home! But, they didn't. We got there and he was admitted to be monitored. Later that night he was rushed to the Intensive Care Unit and they intubated my baby because he was pooping out and he just couldn't breathe on his own anymore. It was probably the saddest and most horrific experience ever! I felt so alone and scared that I called his bio father. It was the last time I would call him as he didn't really want to hear about it.
After a few days, they took my baby to the OR to remove his tubes to see if he could breathe on his own. He couldn't, and so they reinserted them. He was barely 1.5 years of age and he was tubes in his nose and breathing tents over his head and his hands tied to the bed. He was so angry! I felt so bad for him. I know he wanted me to rescue him and I wanted to, but they had to do what they needed to so he could breathe. They began prepping me for a possible tracheotomy...ugh! Fortunately, he was blessed and after 10 days in the hospital, tubes were removed and we got to return home.
My employer was less excited about me staying in Oregon with my baby for those 10 days and I lost my job. I was okay with that because I just wanted to be with my baby.
Life happened and stuff happened and I wasn't happy in Washington anymore. Soon thereafter I decided I wanted to return to Alaska and be near family. So, we left.
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